On buying cold medicine

Dear phar­ma­cies,

You have way too many prod­ucts on the shelf. It’s very con­fus­ing. Here’s how I’d fix it:

  1. Elim­i­nate every­thing with phenyle­phrine as the active ingre­di­ent. This shit doesn’t do any­thing. Buy­ing pseu­doephedrine today is about as easy as get­ting an abor­tion in Mis­sis­sip­pi, but at least it works!
  2. Don’t allow dif­fer­ent for­mu­la­tions of one brand to employ dif­fer­ent active ingre­di­ents. Imag­ine if Advil was some­times made of aspirin! Some­how this is accept­able for cold med­i­cine.
  3. Stop sell­ing so many 3- and 4-drug com­bos with ambigu­ous dif­fer­ences. For those peo­ple who get all 12 list­ed symp­toms simul­ta­ne­ous­ly, maybe these are a con­ve­nience. I’d pre­fer to take a decon­ges­tant when I’m con­gest­ed. I’ll take a cough sup­pres­sant if I have a cough. Thanks.
  4. Seri­ous­ly, why does every­thing have aceta­minophen in it? If peo­ple have pain, let them take a painkiller. Pret­ty soon, mul­ti-vit­a­mins and sham­poo are going to come with 1000 mg of aceta­minophen. I’d rather keep my liv­er.

By my esti­ma­tion, these changes would leave about 5 prod­ucts on the shelf. Much bet­ter.


  1. shazam November 27, 2012


  2. shazam November 27, 2012

    Also, feel bet­ter. =)

  3. Scott December 2, 2012

    Thanks! I think I’m final­ly over it.

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November 26, 2012 November 26, 2012 rants by Scott [permanent link]