dear american airlines

Dear Amer­i­can Airlines,

We all know it is silly to expect legroom, food, or even snacks on long flights, but it was rather pre­sump­tu­ous of me to expect that after spend­ing only USD $1,070 on air­fare I would be enti­tled to a clean seat on your air­craft. For­tu­nately, when I noti­fied your help­ful flight atten­dant that the pre­vi­ous occu­pant had smeared sticky choco­late all over my chair, he rose above and beyond the call of duty by thrust­ing a hand­ful of paper tow­els and alco­hol wipes from the gal­ley at me, cour­te­ously declar­ing, “You can clean it off with this.”

As your cabin announce­ment indi­cates, you know I have my choice of air­lines. So I would like to say: thank you, Amer­i­can Air­lines, for offer­ing me those won­der­ful paper tow­els com­pletely free of charge!

5 Comments

  1. MRhé January 2, 2010

    A) This is funny.

    B) Where the hell are you fly­ing that it costs that much? Cinci-MF-nati?

  2. Scott January 2, 2010

    For my detour to the Caribbean on the way home from Christ­mas, I had to sac­ri­fice both my money and my fash­ion­able pallor.

  3. Freddie January 2, 2010

    AA should take a les­son or two from the islands- No pres­sures no prob­lems, ya man?

  4. amanda January 3, 2010

    this is sup­posed to be a good book.

  5. MRhé January 4, 2010

    Oh I think I knew you were going to the islands. Did I? Seems like every­one I know is going or has gone to the Caribbean recently.

    Some of us, how­ever, are chained to our desks.

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January 1, 2010 January 1, 2010 open-letters by Scott [permanent link]