Dear large groups of drunk-ass jaywalkers,

Yes, I will come within inches of bury­ing my brake han­dles into your guts at 30 MPH. My light is green and yours is red. I will not waste my energy slow­ing down to acco­mo­date you on the way home. To answer your ques­tions: Yes, I am a very fast cyclist. And yes, I’m already watch­ing where I’m going. There are con­se­quences to cross­ing the street with­out look­ing. Pre­pare to face them. Your incredulity will not save you!